How did The Underwearer come to be?
My son's birth came with a lot of changes: my understanding of disability, a medical vocabulary centered on his genetic disorder, a hatred of everyone with a healthy child and frequent relocation to hospitals in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and now New York City. The strangest change, however, has been to my underwear drawer.
It all started when a friend received a pair of Mack Weldon boxer briefs from his parents’ neighbor—totally normal, I know. “I’ve never worn them,” the neighbor said, “I opened the package and immediately knew my ass was too big for medium.”
Said friend fell in love with them, and also with a girl. So when he got engaged I thought a good gift for him—and his wife-to-be—would be some new boxer briefs from Mack Weldon. I felt indulgent so I ordered a couple pairs for myself.
The package arrived, I tried on a pair and my loins felt anew.
Before I took them off—or put pants on—I went to my computer and placed another order. Later on that night after looking into the company's other styles I placed another order. Since then I've tested out Saxx, MeUndies, Tommy John and several other brands.
I know that spending $50 or even $30 on underwear sounds insane—it seems that way until you put them on. These days I’m walking around in whatever the equivalent is for ambrosia of the underpants —something I encourage you to do too.
As complicated as life has become, I now wake up knowing at least one part of my day will feel good.
Super power: UndAwareness
Interesting fact: He is too old to have underpants on his head
Super power: Tolerance
Catchphrase: "I don't want to be on this website."
Super power: Fudging undies
Underpants of choice: Huggies Little Snugglers.
What do you dream of?
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